Alone
by xonceinadream
Summary: Harry's in love with Ginny but he also loves Draco. He brings Draco into his marriage, expecting things to work out. He doesn't expect Ginny and Draco to get closer, leaving him behind.


**Written for the Dysfuncentine Fest on livejournal. See my livejournal (linked on my profile page) for more details.**

* * *

Almost the entire wizarding world knows that Harry grew up in a strict household. He was raised by Petunia and Vernon Dursley (although for their protection, their last names are kept confidential) until he was 11 and went off to Hogwarts. And then the Weasleys, for the most part, took him in as one of their own. Harry moved into his own hand-picked home when he was 18, married Ginny Weasley when he was 20 and became Head Auror at the tender age of 23. It's everything that's expected of him as the Boy Who Lived. The Savior.

Harry appreciates his life. He loves Ginny and he likes being an Auror but he might not have chosen it for himself. No, he's actually really sure that he wouldn't have chosen it for himself if he had the choice. He knows what he would've done.

It had been a year after he'd finished Hogwarts and he'd been in his new home only a month. He and Draco had gotten closer during his 8th year at Hogwarts, when he'd gone back to finish his training so that he could be the best Auror that he could be. All of the 8th years were put into a dorm and it had forced them to socialize with each other even more than they had when they'd only spent hours in the library and classes and eating together. Now they were with the other houses all of the time.

In the beginning, the separate houses had kept to themselves. The girls had started getting together first with even Pansy joining in on their gossip and fun. And eventually the boys had started mingling too. Harry and Draco had been wary around each other, both acutely aware of what the other had done during the war and it was only Harry testifying for the Malfoy family a few months into the school year that got the two talking.

They'd kept up an almost constant stream of communication once they graduated, missing the easy closeness that had come from spending almost all of their time together. They took many of the same classes since Draco decided to become a Healer (wanting to help after the damages of the war). And they had a lot to talk about, more in common than they ever would've imagined and a desire to get to know one another out of curiosity if nothing else.

During that time, Harry was also getting closer to Ginny again, planning the rest of their lives together. Harry knew that he loved her, knew that he wanted to be with her but he didn't know how much of that was his own desire and how much of it was just because it seemed to be the thing to do.

Exactly one year after they graduate from Hogwarts, Harry and Draco happen to see each other outside of the trials for the first time. The trials had lasted months before finally acquitting the entire Malfoy family. It's nothing between them really, a combination of long hidden lust and desperation and thanks and sadness over everything that had happened. Harry drapes himself across Draco's chest when they're finished, looking around the rented room.

"You're going to marry that Weasley girl aren't you?"

Harry bites his lip, nodding his head and he presses his face against Draco's skin. He wants to, he loves her, he reminds himself. It's just that maybe he could want something else more. He could love somebody else more. "Probably."

Draco shrugs, his fingers sliding through Harry's sweaty hair, catching and he works through the tangles in a gentle way that Harry wouldn't have suspected Draco capable of. "Everybody knows you're going to. You're lucky, I suppose. She's gorgeous. Probably make a good wife for you, for anybody. She's lucky too."

In Draco's voice, Harry can hear the admiration. Ginny had talked about Draco once, talking about how it was at Hogwarts during her sixth year but Harry had never heard details. He doesn't press Draco for them, unsure if he really wants to know. He leans up to kiss Draco, parting his lips and rolling over to straddle his waist again.

After that, Harry goes off and marries Ginny just like he's expected to. It's the day of his wedding, when he sees Draco in the crowd, looking at Ginny that he realizes that he's in love with Draco. It's a sickening thought considering that he's now married, vowed to be with Ginny for his life. He wants to be with her. He loves her. It's the only thought that comforts him.

They're happy for the most part. They get along. Harry loves Ginny. Ginny loves Harry more than anything, so she tells him often. It works. They choose to wait to have children as Harry climbs the ranks in the Auror office and Ginny becomes a famous Quidditch player, out of the house a lot of the time. It's during one of those times that Harry reconnects with Draco.

He's drunk in a pub when Draco comes up to him. They're both drunk and Harry doesn't even know how Draco manages to get them in some alley somewhere, pressed against the wall. "Fuck," Harry whispers, over and over again as Draco presses his lips to every inch of Harry's skin except his lips. Harry wonders if it's because he's married.

The night is fuzzy. They rent a room together but Harry knows that he falls asleep before anything happens, too drunk to even get hard. Draco is gone by the time that Harry wakes up and Harry knows what he has to do.

* * *

"You what?"

Harry frowns, shifting in his seat and looking at his wife. Her eyes are wide and she has a confused expression on her face. He's relieved, at least, that she doesn't look angry. He doesn't know what he'd do if she got upset, or angry or decided that they should divorce. That's the last thing that he wants. "It's… well, not simple but… I think Draco should join our relationship."

There's a moment of silence, as if Ginny is contemplating it now. Harry spent a lot of time contemplating it, going over and over in his head how it's going to work. He knows that Ginny and Draco had this _thing_ when they were at school together and Draco called Ginny gorgeous once. Hopefully he's on board with it. Now he just has to make sure that his wife is okay with it.

"You're attracted to him?"

Harry hesitates at that, wondering how much he should tell her. He knows better than to tell her about their drunk night or about their night before he and Ginny were even married. He was technically with her the first time and married the second time. It would make him feel bad except it was Draco. "Yes. I know this isn't ideal. And we'd have to keep it a secret, at least for a while. But I think he could balance us out. You know we've been having problems."

Before he'd thought about trying to bring Draco into his marriage he hadn't really thought that he and Ginny were having problems. But now every single word they speak just seems to not be enough. He's not happy with her, not the way that he knows that he could be. He thinks that if he could just have the both of them then he could be happy.

"This is a crazy idea, Harry," Ginny says softly. The way that she says it makes Harry think that it's a yes.

Draco takes even less convincing. "You want me to have sex with you and your wife?"

The words make Harry's cheeks flame, thoughts of the three of them intertwined in a bed running through his mind. It's every fantasy that he's ever had wrapped up into one. Both he and Draco inside Ginny, pressed together, an easy slide as sweat drips down their bodies. "Yes. But I want it to be more. Ginny's interested. I just have to make sure that you are."

Before he's even finished, Harry can see that Draco is interested. "Alright. When do we start?"

The question makes Harry laugh because it just sounds so ridiculous. "Do you want to come over for dinner tonight?"

Harry thinks that it goes spectacularly. It feels like it goes spectacularly and he wonders if he's finally going to be able to have everything that he wants. Now that he's with Ginny, he can't imagine being with just Draco but now he can have them both.

All through dinner, Ginny and Draco exchange glances, long, heated looks that make Harry think that he isn't even the only one who is going to be benefitting from this. And when they retire to the bedroom, Harry knows that he isn't the only one who is going to be benefitting.

* * *

A low groan leaves Harry's throat as Draco wraps his lips tighter around his dick. Ginny is below them, riding Draco and Harry knows that he won't last long. They're both here, they're both enjoying it, enjoying him. Or, well, he supposes that Ginny isn't so much enjoying him as enjoying Draco but it doesn't matter because they're here.

"Fuck, won't- fuck, Draco!" Harry calls out as he comes, his fingers tangling in Draco's hair hard but he knows that Draco likes it that way.

He presses his mouth to Draco's, kissing him filthily and he can taste his come on Draco's lips. When he sweeps his tongue past Draco's lips, he can taste a drop that didn't make it down Draco's throat. It's hot and unexpected and Harry groans again as he slumps down next to the two.

Draco turns to him, giving him a look that's almost a smile, Harry is too tired to try to really discern it. Ginny leans forward, meeting Draco's lips and Draco wraps an arm around her neck, fucking up into her. Harry watches, knowing that he can't get hard again without magic and he's too lazy for that but he likes watching. He likes the way that Draco thrusts up, likes watching the way that his cock sinks into her tightness and he contemplates grabbing his wand.

Before he can, Ginny is calling out Draco's name, her head lowering. Harry thinks back to when it was just the two of them, trying to figure out if he'd ever made her scream like that as she comes. It's stuck in his mind as Draco grips her hips, lifting her up and doing the work as he forces up into her.

Ginny lets him, pliant in his hold and Harry frowns slightly, wondering if she can really like that as he sees Draco shudder before coming. Ginny has a sweet smile on her lips, though and she slumps against Draco's chest, leaning up to give him another kiss. It takes a moment for Harry to realize that he's staring and he tries to convince himself that he's really glad that the two are getting along.

But there's a part of him that isn't so sure, a part of him that watches them carefully as Ginny snuggles into him and Draco holds onto her. They're only even together because of Harry, after all. That's what matters.

* * *

They spend Christmas Eve with the Malfoys and Christmas Day with the Weasleys, finally telling the extended family about their relationship. It's been a secret for a while, none of them wanting to just come out and tell them. Ginny and Draco are reluctant obviously but Harry doesn't want to keep this a secret anymore. It's bad enough that he can't tell the world that he's in love with two people. He wants to at least be able to tell the family.

The Malfoys take it remarkably well, looking pleased with the turn of events. Harry supposes that he understands. Draco talked about how worried that they were about their reputation and now they have Draco in with the most loved couple in the wizarding world. Not that Harry thinks of himself that way but it is something of a fact.

The Weasleys don't look as thrilled, obviously dismayed that Harry and Ginny are having trouble with their marriage, or so they think. Ginny takes the females aside, talking with them for a long time and when they come back they all shoot Harry looks that make him almost sick to his stomach. Is something going on that he doesn't know about?

Later that night, they stay together in one of the bedrooms, curled up on a bed that is just a touch too small. Ginny lays half on top of Draco, reaching out to tangle her fingers with Harry. Harry holds onto her, looking at the two of them, at the way that Ginny looks so comfortable, so relaxed with Draco. Draco's fingers move idly through her hair. "I love you," Ginny whispers, surprising them both if Draco's eyes snapping open is any indication.

Harry feels warmth in him because this was what he wanted. "I love you. Both of you," Draco says, the second sentence almost as an after thought as he turns to give Harry a small smile.

"I love you," Harry responds and he knows that he does. Ginny turns to him, a soft smile on her lips before she cuddles up to Draco again. After a moment of staring, Harry rolls over, nuzzling up close and sliding his arm around Ginny's waist.

Harry doesn't miss the way that Ginny tenses before relaxing in his hold. He doesn't know what he's supposed to think about it but he knows that it isn't good.

* * *

Although there's something different about Ginny, Harry doesn't try to convince her to tell them. He knows her. He knows when something is the matter, knows when something should be done about it. He loves her. Draco looks concerned a lot and Harry wonders if he can see the way that something is wrong with Ginny. He just hopes that Draco realizes that it's not something that they can press her about.

She doesn't tell them until a few weeks after that worried look started appearing on her face, sitting them both down. Harry and Draco sit next to each other but Ginny appears to be addressing Harry.

"I'm pregnant." Ginny doesn't sugarcoat it. Doesn't try to make it into anything that it isn't. Harry doesn't like how she makes it sound like bad news.

Harry feels his breath catch, his entire body tensing before he smiles widely. At his side, Draco doesn't appear to be reacting, simply staring at the way that Ginny is holding Harry's hand. "You're- Oh Ginny, that's brilliant!"

Ginny's smile is tense as she glances over at Draco and Draco swallows. "It's mine genetically speaking, according to the healer." There's a clip to Draco's voice, a sharp edge and Harry looks over at him, confused.

"That's… that's not an issue. We're all…" Harry wonders if Draco is concerned that Harry won't treat the baby like his own. He loves them both. Of course he will. He's wanted this with Ginny for so long and now he gets it with the both of them. It's like a dream come true. "We can all do this together."

There's a tense pause, a moment where Harry looks between the two as they stare at each other. Harry thinks that something is wrong. But what could be wrong? This is amazing news. Then they both smile and it seems that things are okay. Things are okay right?

"Together," Ginny confirms with a smile. She leans in to give Harry a light kiss before pulling back. "I'm going to floo my mum. I wanted you to know first."

It's not until later that Harry thinks about the fact that Draco knew about the baby before he did.

* * *

Harry sighs as he steps through the front door, eyes nearly closed already and all he can think about is dinner and then falling into bed with Ginny and Draco. He's been working a lot, away from them even more. He'd missed Sunday night dinner and they'd gone to the Weasleys without him, flooing to let him know that they were staying overnight.

Now it's Wednesday and he's barely seen them since then. He knows that he has a lot to make up for. He hasn't been good enough for them lately, hasn't showed how much he loves them. He doesn't know what he'd do without them and he doesn't want to know.

It's surprising when he sees them both sitting at the kitchen table, hands clasped together. He doesn't understand but they look like they need a serious conversation. "I know I'm late."

"It's okay. Harry, please sit down," Ginny says in that voice that's too kind for Harry's state of mind.

Harry's heart starts pounding in overtime and he looks between the two of them, his throat dry. He loves them. They love him. "What is it?"

They both have sympathetic looks on their faces, their hands intertwined on the table and Harry knows. He just _knows_ and he can't handle it. He can't take losing them.

"Sit down, Harry." This time it's Draco and so Harry sits.

The moment is tense, the tension so thick that Harry thinks that he's choking on it. Ginny and Draco are looking at each other, obviously trying to figure out which one of them is going to speak.

"Please," Harry whispers.

That seems to jerk them out of it and they turn to him, Ginny's eyes shining with tears. "It's nothing that you've done, Harry. We need you to know that."

Harry shakes his head because he can't believe that. "No. We were happy. We're… we're married and Draco and… and we love each other."

Carefully, Ginny extracts one of her hands from Draco's hold, reaching out for Harry and he lets her take his hand, pull it into the center of the table. He feels cold. Ginny opens and then closes her mouth, looking over at Draco and Harry can see the confliction in her eyes. He knows her. He knows her better than Draco does. He's loved her longer. Why are they doing this?

"Harry, things are great but we feel that we're not compatible."

Harry looks between the two. "So… you're leaving, Draco?"

The other two exchange a long glance and Harry can see as a tear slips down Ginny's cheek. "No, Harry… We…" Ginny swallows audibly, loud enough that Harry can hear. "We're moving out. We're happier together."

That sentence feels as if Harry's been stabbed. When he had been hit with Crucio it hadn't hurt as badly as it does now. "You're happier… without me?"

"I'm so sorry, Harry."

"But you're… you're pregnant," Harry whispers, not sure if either one of them can even hear his voice considering how quiet that it is.

Draco lets out a breath and he looks sympathetic but not as much as Ginny does. He almost looks annoyed and Harry feels his heart breaking in his chest. It's pain. All he feels is pain. "It's my baby," Draco says, setting his jaw and Harry can finally see a bit of emotion that Draco is obviously trying to hide.

"Harry, I'm so sorry." Ginny's voice is soft and she obviously saw the stricken look on his face but Harry can't take it. He stands up, nearly knocking over his chair as he stumbles back out the door. Both of them are calling his name but the second that he's outside, past the wards, he Apparates away. He doesn't know where he ends up, doesn't know where he's going. He keeps Apparating, further and further away until he's finally in some jungle somewhere.

His wedding ring is burning his finger and he takes it off. The metal is cool as he slips it into his pocket. For hours, days, weeks, he's not sure, he stays. He doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep. How can the Boy Who Lived, the Savior, the Chosen One be so unhappy?

After hours, days, weeks, he goes back to their home. Ginny and Draco have already moved out, all of their things gone. There's a note on the bedside table, Ginny's wedding ring lying underneath it. Harry doesn't look at it, simply lays in the bed that still smells like the two of them.

He's alone again. He always will be alone. Harry clenches his eyes shut, burying his face in the pillow and he can picture every moment, not only with Ginny but with Draco.

He had loved them first and now they love each other. And the worst thing, the thought that makes him absolutely sick? It's all his fault.


End file.
